Compared to last year about this time, so much has changed. I'm no longer with the guy I was with last summer, I went to college for nine months and made new friends, grew spiritually and as a person, and now it's only seven weeks until school starts again.
So you ever look back and think about how much damage you could have done to your life? Like a time where you were making bad decisions and didn't care about the outcome? It's scary to look back at those times. But at the same time, it's awesome to see how God snapped you out of that. The event, the sermon, some one's testimony, or just someone. For me it was all of those. I look back and I am so thankful for what God has done in my life. I would be in a very different place right now if He hadn't grabbed ahold of my heart and attention. He's so amazingly merciful. Who am I that He would bestow such mercy on me? I who have wronged Him and ignored Him and sinned against Him. I'm so thankful He didn't leave me to rot in my sin but took me out of the miry pit. And I'm so thankful that He still is working to shape me into His image.
I'm thankful for the friends God has put in my life that have challenged me to always do my best for the Lord. Even if I haven't talked to them in a while, even just the thought of them makes me want to do my best. And if a friend can do that, how much more should my Lord and Saviour's name do that to me?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Why Do I want (fill in the blank)
Why in the world do I always want either what I can't have or don't need? Why am I always on the lookout for something better or different? I think things like, "I could be going to a different college to study political sciences but I'm going to Bible college" and "Why do awesome things always happen to other people and not me?"
Yet in the back of my mind I always know why. I haven't learned "in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content." My flesh is never satisfied. The old man's wants and desire haven't died. At the beginning of the school year, I heard a sermon about complaining. When God's children complain it's like we're telling God that we refuse His providence and what He's provided. That makes me feel horrible! Maybe it's time I apply that.
No, I may not be doing what I want, but what God wants is what's best for me and I need to be grateful for His leading hand.
Yet in the back of my mind I always know why. I haven't learned "in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content." My flesh is never satisfied. The old man's wants and desire haven't died. At the beginning of the school year, I heard a sermon about complaining. When God's children complain it's like we're telling God that we refuse His providence and what He's provided. That makes me feel horrible! Maybe it's time I apply that.
No, I may not be doing what I want, but what God wants is what's best for me and I need to be grateful for His leading hand.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Hi, Again
I'm back from my first year of college at Heartland Baptist Bible College. I've learned about the Bible, education, relationships, friendships, and myself. All this wrapped up in Secondary Education training in one year!
I've learned that I can study the Bible, use it in every class I take, underline the right words or verses; but unless I really let it get a hold of my life, it has no meaning to me. The Word of God is a living book. If you can't let it consume you in the least bit, you might as well not read it since you're not getting anything out of it anyway. I've learned it has to be alive in your life. Let it change you. Let it mold you into God's image. It is a mirror to the ugly truth- there is nothing good about me and the Bible is more than ready to show me that! It is a letter to me personally.
I have learned about education. Intro to Christian Education was taken over by Dr. Howse, one of the most loving and sincere Academic Deans you'll ever meet. He's intimidating but he genuinely cares about all of the students and is interested in pushing us to do our best. Maybe that's why he gives unusually long and hard tests. He's taught me that I can pass impossible tests by hard work and determination. I may not remember everything from that class, but I remember Dr. Howse impacting my life forever.
I have learned about relationships. I'm prone to trusting myself and being able to push out the Little Voice for a long time. I pushed long and hard, but He won. I cannot do something I know I shouldn't and let it continue. It hurt, for both of us, but someday when I'm about to get married, I want to look back and say, "Yes, it was wrong to disobey the Little Voice for so long, but before any horrible damage could be done, I stopped." I know I'm a jerk to have "played" the person, but I have learned my lesson and many other lessons from it. Many which the other person involved helped me to see. He taught me to look for what I can learn from every situation I am in. He taught me to always check where my focus is. Is it on the situation or is it on God where it should be? He also taught me to check my attitude. I may not like the situation, but how is my attitude? Do I have a Christ-like attitude, or am I self-centered?
I have learned about friendship. I learned what it means to be a friend. I learned that friends are a support system. Friends may seem indispensable, but all can be replaced by Jesus. He's the One that at the end of the day will always be there for you. Friends are great and I love being able to walk up to my friends and talk about anything, but Jesus is the Friend that will never fail me. When I'm lonely, I can turn to Him. When I need to talk, I can turn to Him. When I need encouragement, I can turn to Him. But He also blesses with earthly friends. I have an amazing group of friends. They are part of my support system. They encourage me, and I hope I've been able to be there for them, too.
I have learned about myself. My friend Erica told me that college is kind of like a pressure cooker that shows you what you're really like. I'm different than I thought! I didn't think I had a serious bone in my body, but I can actually be serious! But I've always discovered that I'm a lot like my dad. I've learned what it means to be completely dependent on the Lord. It's painful, but it's a lesson I needed to learn. I learned that I'm not very humble. I'm a very prideful person. I can be snobby and I think I'm "all that." But I've also learned that through my deficiencies, God can prove Himself mighty in my life.
I was privileged to attend SouthWest Baptist Church. If you go there and think, "Oh my! This church is huge!" don't worry- there are plenty of ministries for you to get involved in. Invest in a life and work with kids. Work on a bus route. Those kids will keep you on your knees. But you'll fall in love with them. I love my church where I live in Colorado, but SouthWest is my church home away from home. I love it!
I'm excited to go back next semester to see what God will do through classes, chapel, church services, and different people.
I've learned that I can study the Bible, use it in every class I take, underline the right words or verses; but unless I really let it get a hold of my life, it has no meaning to me. The Word of God is a living book. If you can't let it consume you in the least bit, you might as well not read it since you're not getting anything out of it anyway. I've learned it has to be alive in your life. Let it change you. Let it mold you into God's image. It is a mirror to the ugly truth- there is nothing good about me and the Bible is more than ready to show me that! It is a letter to me personally.
I have learned about education. Intro to Christian Education was taken over by Dr. Howse, one of the most loving and sincere Academic Deans you'll ever meet. He's intimidating but he genuinely cares about all of the students and is interested in pushing us to do our best. Maybe that's why he gives unusually long and hard tests. He's taught me that I can pass impossible tests by hard work and determination. I may not remember everything from that class, but I remember Dr. Howse impacting my life forever.
I have learned about relationships. I'm prone to trusting myself and being able to push out the Little Voice for a long time. I pushed long and hard, but He won. I cannot do something I know I shouldn't and let it continue. It hurt, for both of us, but someday when I'm about to get married, I want to look back and say, "Yes, it was wrong to disobey the Little Voice for so long, but before any horrible damage could be done, I stopped." I know I'm a jerk to have "played" the person, but I have learned my lesson and many other lessons from it. Many which the other person involved helped me to see. He taught me to look for what I can learn from every situation I am in. He taught me to always check where my focus is. Is it on the situation or is it on God where it should be? He also taught me to check my attitude. I may not like the situation, but how is my attitude? Do I have a Christ-like attitude, or am I self-centered?
I have learned about friendship. I learned what it means to be a friend. I learned that friends are a support system. Friends may seem indispensable, but all can be replaced by Jesus. He's the One that at the end of the day will always be there for you. Friends are great and I love being able to walk up to my friends and talk about anything, but Jesus is the Friend that will never fail me. When I'm lonely, I can turn to Him. When I need to talk, I can turn to Him. When I need encouragement, I can turn to Him. But He also blesses with earthly friends. I have an amazing group of friends. They are part of my support system. They encourage me, and I hope I've been able to be there for them, too.
I have learned about myself. My friend Erica told me that college is kind of like a pressure cooker that shows you what you're really like. I'm different than I thought! I didn't think I had a serious bone in my body, but I can actually be serious! But I've always discovered that I'm a lot like my dad. I've learned what it means to be completely dependent on the Lord. It's painful, but it's a lesson I needed to learn. I learned that I'm not very humble. I'm a very prideful person. I can be snobby and I think I'm "all that." But I've also learned that through my deficiencies, God can prove Himself mighty in my life.
I was privileged to attend SouthWest Baptist Church. If you go there and think, "Oh my! This church is huge!" don't worry- there are plenty of ministries for you to get involved in. Invest in a life and work with kids. Work on a bus route. Those kids will keep you on your knees. But you'll fall in love with them. I love my church where I live in Colorado, but SouthWest is my church home away from home. I love it!
I'm excited to go back next semester to see what God will do through classes, chapel, church services, and different people.
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