All the trees are in a row...

... It's a Christmas miracle!!

God always knows how to make a day of celebration a day of real celebration! Our church had their annual candle light service tonight and one of the visitors got saved!! There's nothing better than getting the gift of life on Christmas. I love watching God work, it's beautiful.

Somewhere around 2,000 years ago, a baby was born. Not just any baby, this one was special. He was born as a sacrifice. The Jews in those days lived under the Law and had many different sacrifices they would perform. This sacrifice, though, would over-rule the Law and set up a new way of doing things. Everyone expected this sacrifice to break them from their Roman captors. He was expected to bring down the government and set up His own. And when He didn't do it their way, they despised and rejected Him. They slaughtered Him as they would any other animal, not like an animal for a sacrifice. But God didn't have to have the Jew's approval.
This sacrifice did break them from their captivity- He came to break them from the bonds of sin, from being under the Law. He gave them life. But because it wasn't what they were expecting they decided they didn't need Him. So this sacrifice which was born to die to forgive all mankind should they choose to be forgiven, went in our place as the ultimate Sacrifice. He took on the sins of all and only asked to let them drink of everlasting waters. He asked to take their sins and to forgive them, yet He was still rejected by many.
The rejection still continues. Now honestly, I don't blame many for being skeptical- at first. I myself am much too cynical when it comes to believing people. But I can't imagine these people seeing Him fulfill prophecy single to the Messiah and not believe. Sin has a horrible way of putting scales on our eyes. Even after a person's salvation, Jesus can still be rejected. "No, I don't want to follow You, it's too hard." "I don't want to give this sin up, I'm too addicted." "It's okay, I'll just trust myself from here." If there were a show of hands for those who have done or said this, both of my hands would be raised.
This Christmas, instead of becoming overly focused on commercialism, presents, food, I want to be focused on what I can give to God. It is better to give than to receive, so what can I give? Start with a humble heart willing to surrender. Willing to recognize that God is all-powerful, all-knowing and surrender to His will and to His way.
What are you giving for Christmas?

Sometimes...

... you learn more from experience than from school."-Kendra

You never know how strong you are until what you deem important in your life is stripped away from you. Losing friendships, losing relationships, losing a job. Until that moment comes, you have no idea what are you are fully capable of. That moment comes and you realize that you're okay. "He's still on the throne, so what can be wrong? It is well with my soul! Let the stormy winds blow! I'm reminded today, thank God I am saved."

The trial comes, you realize an untapped source of strength. But in all efforts to burst any prideful bubbles, it's not you. You cannot sustain and make whole. Without God putting breath in your lungs, you wouldn't be here. But when those moments come, use the power source. In our weakness (when we feel like we can't go on) His strength is made perfect.

So a relationship is ripped from your life, a friendship, an important possession- how will you react? What will your response be? Turning to God or trying to make it through yourself?

Oh, Magoo

You've done it again!

Tonight as I was packing to go home in a few days, I started thinking about my day. I have a cold and I got into a huge fight with my best friend and didn't make the grades I wanted to on my last finals. I was talking to a friend about where I live and describing why I love it so much and this huge wave of homesickness came over me. I lost it and the tears started to flow.
All this confusion and chaos is swirling around me as I've tried to not get swept away in the swift winds. I closed my eyes and realized where I was- in the middle, the eye of the storm. God was there, where He's always been, graciously holding out His arms, ready to envelop me with His love.

The storm still rages on, trying to pull me every which way, but God will always be holding out His arms to me when I need them.

"I feel your pain, Child. I know your confusion and anxiety. I'm here for you. I've always been here for you. Come to Me, I want to relieve your burden, I want to dry your tears. You are My child and nothing will change that. Always come to Me."

Ps. 69:1 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.
2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.

Dear Self,

Dear Self,
I've noticed some things about you this year. Your pride is a nasty beast that is too closely related to the green monster of jealousy. It's time to realize you're not always in charge or the coolest person around. You have some learned some things about this though. You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar, use honey. For example, next time you fall (which happens frequently) be graceful and not angry you messed up and people saw you mess up. Everyone messes up, join the masses!
Another thing, you have more strength in God than you realize. Stop trying to do everything in yourself. Life works so much better when you're not in control. Seriously. Let go and let God.
Most importantly: you can function as a whole by yourself. Stop trying to fill the void of knowing who's on your side and who isn't and stop caring. You are just fine without someone always with you. You know why? God. He's always there for you and is all you need. He fills that void of the unknown. Friends come and go, don't get overly attached. Put your affections on things above. All this down here is just vanity, treat it that way. But with grace. Grace that comes from a life that knows God is there and will lead and protect and dry the tears of frustration and pain. But dont be ashamed when the tears come.
Self, be yourself and stop putting up such a huge front. Don't be afraid, be who you were made to be. Be graceful, be godly, be caring, be loving, be daring.

Oh the Piano

My teacher has been having me learn 3 new songs a week. I have the ability, but I usually only do one... oops. Anyway, this week was Rejoice In the Lord, God Makes No Mistakes, and He Knoweth the Way. I worked on God Makes No Mistakes. It's amazing how just the right song at the just the right time can have an effect on you. God makes no mistakes. We do, but He doesn't. He put you in the place you are now for a reason, it's not a mistake. He gave you the friends you have for a reason, it's not a mistake. He put you in the family you're in for a reason, it's not a mistake.
Think about that. What do you dislike about your life? It's not a mistake on God's part. Don't like where you are, who you are? It's not God's fault. He has a reason. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that He has plans for us. He's perfect, it's not like He's going to mess up those plans.
I think too often we want to blame God for all of our problems, but the real problem is the corruption of sin. If your parents are abusive, it's not God's fault. Sin corrupted your parents. If a loved one dies, it's not God's fault. A time is appointed to everyone for death. Because of sin, death entered into the world. So why are we so bent on blaming God for everything?
If my brother were to die soon, I'd be devastated, but it wouldn't be God's fault. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy to not want to be mad at God, but that's when we have to step back and realize He's taking care of us through everything we're going through. He makes no mistakes.

Well Hey There...

Guess what! Lake Baikal in Siberia, Russia is the deepest lake in the world! Of course, this information probably means nothing to you, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.

So, I'm slightly confused as to why the archaic idea that a 19 year old not in a relationship means a life full of loneliness. Nineteen, even eighteen, is not a cutting off point, but usually a starting point. Knowing how stupid and foolish I am, I really don't think I should pursue any relationship not brought by God is a wise idea. In fact, it's pretty stupid. So, in an effort to get this off my chest, I conclude this post. Good night!

Summer Speculating

Compared to last year about this time, so much has changed. I'm no longer with the guy I was with last summer, I went to college for nine months and made new friends, grew spiritually and as a person, and now it's only seven weeks until school starts again.
So you ever look back and think about how much damage you could have done to your life? Like a time where you were making bad decisions and didn't care about the outcome? It's scary to look back at those times. But at the same time, it's awesome to see how God snapped you out of that. The event, the sermon, some one's testimony, or just someone. For me it was all of those. I look back and I am so thankful for what God has done in my life. I would be in a very different place right now if He hadn't grabbed ahold of my heart and attention. He's so amazingly merciful. Who am I that He would bestow such mercy on me? I who have wronged Him and ignored Him and sinned against Him. I'm so thankful He didn't leave me to rot in my sin but took me out of the miry pit. And I'm so thankful that He still is working to shape me into His image.
I'm thankful for the friends God has put in my life that have challenged me to always do my best for the Lord. Even if I haven't talked to them in a while, even just the thought of them makes me want to do my best. And if a friend can do that, how much more should my Lord and Saviour's name do that to me?

Why Do I want (fill in the blank)

Why in the world do I always want either what I can't have or don't need? Why am I always on the lookout for something better or different? I think things like, "I could be going to a different college to study political sciences but I'm going to Bible college" and "Why do awesome things always happen to other people and not me?"

Yet in the back of my mind I always know why. I haven't learned "in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content." My flesh is never satisfied. The old man's wants and desire haven't died. At the beginning of the school year, I heard a sermon about complaining. When God's children complain it's like we're telling God that we refuse His providence and what He's provided. That makes me feel horrible! Maybe it's time I apply that.

No, I may not be doing what I want, but what God wants is what's best for me and I need to be grateful for His leading hand.

Hi, Again

I'm back from my first year of college at Heartland Baptist Bible College. I've learned about the Bible, education, relationships, friendships, and myself. All this wrapped up in Secondary Education training in one year!

I've learned that I can study the Bible, use it in every class I take, underline the right words or verses; but unless I really let it get a hold of my life, it has no meaning to me. The Word of God is a living book. If you can't let it consume you in the least bit, you might as well not read it since you're not getting anything out of it anyway. I've learned it has to be alive in your life. Let it change you. Let it mold you into God's image. It is a mirror to the ugly truth- there is nothing good about me and the Bible is more than ready to show me that! It is a letter to me personally.

I have learned about education. Intro to Christian Education was taken over by Dr. Howse, one of the most loving and sincere Academic Deans you'll ever meet. He's intimidating but he genuinely cares about all of the students and is interested in pushing us to do our best. Maybe that's why he gives unusually long and hard tests. He's taught me that I can pass impossible tests by hard work and determination. I may not remember everything from that class, but I remember Dr. Howse impacting my life forever.

I have learned about relationships. I'm prone to trusting myself and being able to push out the Little Voice for a long time. I pushed long and hard, but He won. I cannot do something I know I shouldn't and let it continue. It hurt, for both of us, but someday when I'm about to get married, I want to look back and say, "Yes, it was wrong to disobey the Little Voice for so long, but before any horrible damage could be done, I stopped." I know I'm a jerk to have "played" the person, but I have learned my lesson and many other lessons from it. Many which the other person involved helped me to see. He taught me to look for what I can learn from every situation I am in. He taught me to always check where my focus is. Is it on the situation or is it on God where it should be? He also taught me to check my attitude. I may not like the situation, but how is my attitude? Do I have a Christ-like attitude, or am I self-centered?

I have learned about friendship. I learned what it means to be a friend. I learned that friends are a support system. Friends may seem indispensable, but all can be replaced by Jesus. He's the One that at the end of the day will always be there for you. Friends are great and I love being able to walk up to my friends and talk about anything, but Jesus is the Friend that will never fail me. When I'm lonely, I can turn to Him. When I need to talk, I can turn to Him. When I need encouragement, I can turn to Him. But He also blesses with earthly friends. I have an amazing group of friends. They are part of my support system. They encourage me, and I hope I've been able to be there for them, too.

I have learned about myself. My friend Erica told me that college is kind of like a pressure cooker that shows you what you're really like. I'm different than I thought! I didn't think I had a serious bone in my body, but I can actually be serious! But I've always discovered that I'm a lot like my dad. I've learned what it means to be completely dependent on the Lord. It's painful, but it's a lesson I needed to learn. I learned that I'm not very humble. I'm a very prideful person. I can be snobby and I think I'm "all that." But I've also learned that through my deficiencies, God can prove Himself mighty in my life.

I was privileged to attend SouthWest Baptist Church. If you go there and think, "Oh my! This church is huge!" don't worry- there are plenty of ministries for you to get involved in. Invest in a life and work with kids. Work on a bus route. Those kids will keep you on your knees. But you'll fall in love with them. I love my church where I live in Colorado, but SouthWest is my church home away from home. I love it!

I'm excited to go back next semester to see what God will do through classes, chapel, church services, and different people.